Another chuckle at the expense of our 'leaders' and The Silent Gondoliers
This is actually quite amusing.  Thanks Shanny!  And I finished another William Goldman book today, The Silent Gondoliers.  He brought good 'ol Morgenstern back from the dead and this work was published in 1983, ten years after The Princess Bride.  It was cute.  Nothing to rave about.
PS:  Why would you ever name a clothing store Dress Barn?  Should the word 'barn' really be in the title of somewhere one goes to purchase items of vanity?  And a women's store no less?  Do these people know their audience at all?  Just something to chew on.  Or you could just go to sleep, I am.

- posted by Annie Bergen @ Friday, July 23, 2004

 
success!
I have finally found my future employer.  It's a perfect match, don't you think!  Finally someone who knows what they're talking about. (see my "AAB memorable quote" blog, 5 July, 7:02pm BST to see why I would make an excellent addition to this organization's workforce) . 

PS: In case any of you are keeping track of my waking hours, please note that the 12 July blog was the last recorded at BST and all subsequent blogs, beginning with 15 July have been recorded at the appropriate EST (ie, I remembered to update my blogger settings to keep up with my geographical capriciousness!  these are the kinds of things that will probably not---or at least should not--- happen once I am gainfully employed---so enjoy it while it lasts!).

PPS: You know, I would like it if the blogger people would include BST or EST or GMT or whatever the case may be in their time stamps.  Why?  I just find these things interesting.

- posted by Annie Bergen @ Wednesday, July 21, 2004

 
Property of the Mattress, Spiderman 2, and LJC
Yo yo yo! Am communicating from the new home.  Am loving it.  Am super busy.  Am master job-hunter (oh and I'm an actual Master as well! Oxford has just informed me that this is so).
Some things:
1) I walked by the furniture store down the street from my new home today.  It is better than your furniture store.  And do you know why?  Because it has mattresses who think for themselves!  Sign in window reads: "MATTRESS'S" (ie, property of the MATTRESS).  That just kills me.   That is why I want to read that Truss lady's book.  I will tell you when I've done so.  Have any of you read it?  I'm also just about done re-reading Mr. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, which must explain the "that just kills me" comment.
2) Spiderman 2: I really enjoyed this flick!  I do find Tobey Maguire most appealing.  But that is not the sole reason I enjoyed the film.  I will talk about the other reasons next time I see you.
3) Was not on the computer on his birthday, so here's a birthday shout out for LJC, my splendid nephew who turned ten on the 16th day of July in the year 2004.  Can't believe it!  (If you all remember, TMB, my other splendid nephew, turned 15 on the 8th day of July--also unbelievable)--or "inconceivable!"  "You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means."

- posted by Annie Bergen @ Monday, July 19, 2004

 
"Goodbye Oxfahd!" and "Chillin Stateside."
Been home a few days now.  Won't write much now as have been emailing for a bit now and am ready for the sleep.  Miss you all on the other side.  Look forward to seeing you all on this side.
Some updates (non-important):
1) films watched since last blog: Around the World in 80 Days (there was nothing else playing---it was pretty bad---the Wilson bros. were amusing), Anything Else and Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (saw these on the plane.  everyone knows good old woody has seen betta days.  should like to see Annie Hall again. v.v. good; Diego Luna is interesting to look at, shall we say), and Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring (again.  and again I still don't see what all the mega-fuss is about---I mean books are one thing.  and I suppose it's one of those movies that just is a whole lot better on the big screen, but I just got sick of seeing Frodo's hand opening and closing and opening and closing and everyone just generally convulsing about the g****am ring!)
2) books completed: Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods (his first big hit.  I love Bill. He's great.  His best effort, in my opinion is Notes From a Small Island, which I've read twice--possibly because I so closely identify with it and all.  Neither Here nor There was good.  And I'm a Stranger Here Myself was too.  None of them were as good as Notes From a Small Island.  I still haven't read all of Mother Tongue nor have I finished Troublesome Words--but this isn't really a 'reading' book per se)
 
Tomorrow I will see Spiderman 2 for my nephew's birthday.  He is ten!  This I cannot believe.  And now I must sleep.  Perhaps I will write something more coherent and interesting tomorrow, or perhaps the day after that.  And when I do, perhaps it will not be coherent and perhaps it will not be interesting.
Good night.

- posted by Annie Bergen @ Thursday, July 15, 2004

 
The Princess Bride (the book) (1973), Mr. William Goldman
Well, you've all seen the film. I just re-watched it myself a few weeks ago, hence all the gratuitous quoting. But ah, the book. So wonderful. Go and read it if you haven't. Read it now.

Maybe more about this later, but I have to go ship some stuff to America and it's going to cost me more than my life.
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Monday, July 12, 2004

 
Fahrenheit 9/11, Dubyah, and "I Need Your Boogie"
You ever just stop and think, "hey, what the hell am I doing here?" or some similar such derivative such as "hey, what the hell is going on here?" Of course you have. Well this happened to me several times this evening.
Don't get me wrong, the company was great--my friends rock--it was more the circumstances, particular events, and emotional experiences of the evening that made me have to get to the kebab van quicker than usual tonight (chips, cheese, onion rings -with ketchup and bbq sauce for those who are curious, don't know me, or weren't around for my last blog where onion rings and ketchup were often discussed at length).

We'll start with Michael Moore. His work has always depressed me. But I do have to say that I think it's in a good way. I haven't read reviews and criticisms of Fahrenheit 9/11 (so I'm giving what might be seen as a fairly unresearched rebuttal), but I've heard the usual critiques of "he's too manipulative" and "he's got his own agenda," etc., etc. . . . well of course he does! And why shouldn't a man from Flint? Yes, Moore's work is manipulative and one-sided. But the deal is this: sometimes when a group has no voice at all, then that voice needs to be exaggerated to be heard at all and this is what Michael is doing for the people getting crapped on in America (and in the rest of the world for that matter).

I left America and came to England the first time Dubyah was elected and I'd like to say I'd do it again, but this time I'm going home and I'm sticking around for a bit, so America has to pull itself together. The whole Bush/Gore/Florida debacle killed me and a good part of the Democratic party too. It was just sort of like, "whah? errr...um, huh?" Gore's personal appearance after the tragedy was a good reflection of what I would say over half of America was feeling like in the aftermath of that election.
And I have to say, if Fahrenheit 9/11 can get Puppet Bush out of the theatre, then America might have a chance. But we will never get back all the people we've lost. And neither will Iraq or any others involved.

Michael Moore is an extremist. He does not present all sides fairly. But if he did, then who would care? Who would listen then? I watch documentaries critically and am well aware of Moore's "aggressive" documentary style, but SO IS HE. He never for a moment pretends that he's going to give both sides a chance and then sit them down for tea and a chat. In a nutshell, he's doing the talking for those who don't have the money to speak for themselves. The point is this: it's money that makes the world go round and if you haven't got it then you'll work for the people who have. If Moore's work can get people thinking and talking about this, then this is a good thing. There is some truth, in my opinion, to the "dumbing down of America" by what we're fed by our media. But this truth is made even sadder by the fact that it's the still hierarchical (and aristocratic) government --our leaders--who have fed us the more damaging of the dumbing-down material.
Come election time, we need a to elect a leader who can think for himself (first of all) and we need to work on educating America. As long as there is not enough time between now and the elections to gather a backlash, then I think Moore's effect will be good. And people need to be smart with their votes. You can "express yourself" and "make a statement" by voting for the Green party or whatever, but don't do it if it's going to put Bush back in the House! Be smart with your vote.

The Democratic convention will be in Boston when I get home---a playground and festival for the ruling class. They're telling people to just "stay home that week," and "don't go to work, take the kids to the beach." Because WE ALL HAVE THE LUXURY TO DO THAT, DON'T WE!" "Oh, it will bring money to the state." Nooooo, it will bring lobster to the politicians and 5-star hotels to their friends! Forget about the "Flint" people of metro-Boston. Who cares if they don't get paid if they can't get to work for a week because 'oops, Boston wasn't quite laid out for a national convention of this calibre.'

Sorry! The rant is done. For now. My blogging seldom gets this serious, but you have to understand how high my emotions are running at the moment with my imminent return State-side.

I think I'm ready for bed, so the "I need your boogie" explanation will have to be brief. That was some of the techno-crap (with "I need your boogie" being one of the oft-repeated lines) playing at BabyLove or LoveBaby or BarLove or whatever the Oxford club is called. (again, the company was great!) I just don't find that scene so appealing. And then when the only (there is, after all, usually just one) cute guy in the place leaves, well then it's just plain crap. And then it all gets as good as it's going to get when you're finally leaning in to tell your friends you gotta get out--and then SPIKE! Skinny b**ch hip-hops her stiletto right through your sneaker!

And then it's time for chips 'n cheese.

I'm going to go hang out with Bill Goldman a bit more before sleep, that always makes me feel better.
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Friday, July 09, 2004

 
Happy Birthday TB!
My nephew is FIFTEEN years old today! I can't believe it. Wow. And now it is time to watch the most excellent classic--When Harry Met Sally--with one most excellent friend--Row--yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Thursday, July 08, 2004

 
Ahhhh justification . . .
"What no one can ever understand is that a writer is working when they’re
staring out of a window."

Spoken by U.S Critic and Journalist. Burton Rascoe - died 1957

(thanks Hamster!)

- posted by Annie Bergen @ Thursday, July 08, 2004

 
Beautiful, beautiful night --apart from the spikes . . .
"It's not just what you've done for me
that makes me love you so . . .
It's all the joy of who you are
the friend I've come to know."

It's all just getting too painful now. I seriously have to get out! And if only it were just painful in a Jackie Juice sort of way, but it's not, it's real. When things get real, AAB gets out. Gotta get out.

Good night everyone, it's time to climb back into the Salvador Dali. Sweet Dreams.
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Wednesday, July 07, 2004

 
What it means when I've blogged but haven't replied to your email.
Nothing! Stop being so paranoid.
Honestly, every time I get on the internet, believe it or not, I don't always check email! And sometimes I'll check but only quickly as I'm running off to do other things. And because, naturally, I want to give your email the utmost attention and love in the form of a caring reply, I just might have to return at a later time to do so.
Don't take it personally.
Quite often the scenario's something like this:
1) get home/wake up/etc.
2) have great revelation
3) must tell someone!
4) remember that most people I know think I'm nuts and don't want to hear all of my brilliant ideas for getting rich and/or saving the world
5) so I blog it instead!
6) it's all done in love and to save you the misery and crowded inbox. it's all for you.
7) and the requisite non-sequitur from the master-in-residence:
"Can I introduce you please to a lump of cheddar cheese?"
--------------------->Because Margarita rocks (god bless her and her lost shaker of salt) I now have my footy songs. Vindaloo and Three Lions, brilliant! Now I can relive the summer of 1998 when I was living in Nice and France won the World Cup. It was NUTS! There was one of those mega, mega-screens in the centre and the place just simply went MAD! I did fear for my life at points, but it was all good fun. And all the English (les hooligans!) would walk through the streets of Nice post-many pints staggering and asking "Where the hell are you from?" and then offering (even though no one was asking), "We're from England!" Sorry England, but that was just great---a bit scary, but great. I made my first round of English friends that summer, I only remember one name though--Damian Watkin, he was from Watford and went to Manchester Uni. I don't know why I remember all those details. Oh wait, there were two nice Irish blokes as well, Keith et Alan. They owned a pub. I should go visit. It was an odd time in my life though. I worked as an assistant to Ultra Violet (aka Isabelle Dufresne). She is one of Andy Warhol's underground superstars (or ex-underground superstar I suppose). Elle est folle. I helped her to "make art" and live off Andy Warhol's name.
My main source of pride from that summer comes from having read The Grapes of Wrath. What a tome! A good tome, but a tome nonetheless. I think that was also the summer I read Keroac's On the Road. Yeah, it was good, but I think some people get a little too worked up about it.
I also befriended a whole group of Mormons that summer. Trent et Michelle were two that I watched "explore" the boundaries of their faith, shall we say. Michelle and I rented a studio together and she brought home Fred and Seb. She liked Fred. Seb liked me. I liked nutella.
Trent and I travelled Corsica together and saw the great short man's bed (Napoleon).

See, this blog takes a lot of abuse! Better it than your inbox...

PS: Remind me to tell you about my most recent trip to the Tower of London (I think it was my 3rd or 4th), but it was great because it was with Row and King Philip.

"Me and me mum and me gran and me dad...and a bucket of vindaloo!"

current music: Kansas, "Carry on My Wayward Sun"
current mood: "well chuffed!"
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Tuesday, July 06, 2004

 
Shrek 2 and Stupid American Tourists 2
"What are you doing you big stupid pastry!?!"
I thought people only said this to me, but the writers of Shrek 2 also used it so they must be old friends of mine. It is a great movie, you should go see it. Go now! Eddie Murphy as Donkey is hilarious as usual and Antonio (all better now! sorry for making you a woman for a minute Tony!) Banderas and Jennifer Saunders make two excellent additions to the cast. And if you buy peanut M&Ms and eat them at the same time that you're eating your date's Starburst jelly beans as well as your date's date's crispy M&Ms then you'll get a most excellent sugar high and nothing can go wrong...until the finale song turns out to be 'Living La Vida Loca!'-- then the sh*t starts movin swiftly towards the fan! So at that time it's time to get out quickly---don't go too quickly though or you'll miss a special moment with Donkey---seriously, do stick around, it's quite touching).
~~~~
When you've left the theatre and are laiden with excess miniature candies, the best system for rapid disposal is to throw them at all the stupid American teenagers who have taken over the streets of Oxford! Honestly, I can't get down the road without feeling like I'm in Martha's Vineyard or some other similarly depressing American yuppieville. I'm supposed to be in ENGLAND! Where have all the English accents gone? Or at least anything European! ('Stupid American Tourists 1' was from my last blog. You will not find it here.)

And it turned out I didn't have time to do the laundry today afterall, so that will happen tomorrow. Seriously. I was productive today though--bought laundry tokens!

AAB Memorable Quote for you to take home: "There is only one thing you can always count on in life and that is that there will always be something to complain about."

"For F**k's Sake!"
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Monday, July 05, 2004

 
and who woulda thunk it? Portugal 0-Greece 1: UEFA EURO 2004, the end.
Well, I've said before in this blog that Greece has excellent defence and this final match evinced this truth once again. They just shut Ronaldo & co. down again and again, brilliantly. But I was even more impressed by Greece's determination this evening. I truly believed it was a done deal in favour of the hosting nation, but I was wrong. In the beginning I thought the Greeks were just getting by on some luck, but they proved me wrong. I'm even more upset now that I missed the Greece/Czech sem-fin.
Greece is having a great year. Nothing like winning Europe and then hosting the Olympics. This is clearly the time to be Greek. Whereas, it is clearly NOT the time to be American. It is the 4th of July and we've lost both days of Wimbledon (S. Williams and Roddick both coming in second and winning hideous--but very old and coveted---plates from which one might eat olives) losing, respectively, to the Russian teen Sharapova and the Swiss Federer. However, the Wimbledon finals made for two great days of newspaper reading and card playing at the uni club, an activity I will miss dearly upon my return to the "home of the free and the brave." And in light of this last quotation, there becomes apparent many more reasons why it is difficult to be an American abroad these days. For rhetoric, my dear, for rhetoric.

I haven't been paying attention really, but The Peacemaker (Nicole Kidman, George Clooney) has been on my television for a while now and I don't think it's such a great film. It's loud and seems cheesy (but not in a good way--as most of you know I do enjoy a fairly wide range of cheese).

And "I see what you've done there!"

And tomorrow I will do laundry and see Shrek 2. If I don't have time to do the laundry, I will just see Shrek 2.
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Sunday, July 04, 2004

 
The Ladykillers (2004)
Professor G.H. Dorr (Tom Hanks): "Madam, We must have waffles! We must all have waffles forthwith! We must think, and we must all have waffles, and think each and everyone of us to the best of his ability..."

I agree with the Prof and I agree wholeheartedly. In fact, I believe everyone should have waffles. I believe in equal-opportunity waffling....which means something entirely different! Isn't the English language splendid!

And the Coen brothers are great. "There will be no hippity-hoppity in this house!" I should like to see the original now, as I did quite enjoy this, but some film snots have put it down as not living up to that which has gone before.


- posted by Annie Bergen @ Sunday, July 04, 2004

 
someone was hawking newspapers in my head
So I bought one and this is what it said:
Today she walked to where the pigeons gather and sat upon the plinth that Nelson calls home. When she looked over her shoulder she caught the eye of the one in the white shirt. The one in the white shirt moved and became the one behind the column. None of this would have been a problem except that she had placed her bets on the one in the white shirt. What could this mean, she wondered.

- posted by Annie Bergen @ Sunday, July 04, 2004

 
and i fergert to sayeee....
things of which i must eleborate upon later as am seriously deliriously tired maintenant:
1) saw the Jerry Springer Opera, was not impressed.
2) tonight's Blenheim experience was the Rat Pack as done in the West End and the LSO as led by Dirk (who knew people were really named this?) Brosse, featuring loads of most excellent (thank you B&T) hollywood movie music. starwars brought tears to my eyes. Long live John Williams and all his genius.
3) I should tell you more about Canada Day.
4) Today America gained its freedom from the island on which I currently reside. It was a swapping of colonial status, if you will. requisite celebrations to follow prior to Portugal/Greece.
5) Possessive apostrophes: If you are talking about the collective opinion of a group of consultants, it is the following: "The consultants' opinion was blah blah blah." If you are talking about something that James wrote, it is this: "James's screenplay was great."

And now, good night.
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Saturday, July 03, 2004

 
Brilliant!
News:
1) The Minister is back! For all those who missed his worldly advice and superior musing skill, JakeThoughts lives on. Long live Mark.
2) Congratulations Stuart and Sarah! They were engaged tonight at the Blenheim Palace Music Festival of which I was one attendee. Most of the women in the audience were crying. I wasn't, I cried when, about a half-hour earlier, I poured brown sauce all over my chips thinking it was bbq sauce and then tried to remedy the situation by doubly-dousing the whole mess in ketchup...
3) I'm tired. It's almost 3am. I meant to be asleep already, but I've been distracted by cyber-exploration and my own daydreaming---or is it nightdreaming now? hmmm, even though it's actually night, but I'm not sleeping?
4) "Lorena McKetchip!"
5) Who's the only one who could ever reach you?
6) AAB traffic light system implemented, tried, and tested this evening: green, yellow, red. red, yellow...RED! ...and yellow, green.
7) Proud President and lifetime member of BPMF, pronounced "Bapmeuf."
8) Sharapova overcame many obstacles and her family made soooo many sacrifices--blahbiddyblahbiddyblahblahblahblah--this is NOT NEWS!

And good night. Finally.

- posted by Annie Bergen @ Saturday, July 03, 2004

 
but I can't do laundry right now!
I have to watch tennis and play cards, you see!
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Saturday, July 03, 2004

 
"Hello" and "useless Czechs!"
Following from the former: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"
And from the latter: "thou hath rendered my blog predictions incorrect! prepare to die."
And for RER: "I'm just so hungry, I might die!"
And for SB: "We just can't have Canada Day without the ginger and rye!"
And "lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"
More later...
- posted by Annie Bergen @ Saturday, July 03, 2004